Hi there, today our Johanna got her driving licenses and I feel so robbed because one of my children was so happy and the other so sad! It just broke Joshua’s heart (even though he is so excited and proud of her) she is younger than him and married and he feels that her life is normal and his is not; poor little man. It is breaking my heart pleased pray for him; he told me today (again) that he wishes he had died of the meningitis instead of living through it. I just wanted to cry but I knew that would have made it worse for him; so I guess I will cry my tears in bed tonight. I think that is why I am putting off going to bed all the sad stuff comes rushing back when you are laying in bed!
I just wish I knew how to help him and make him feel ok again! I hope so much that he sleeps well and wakes up feeling a little bit better about life. I wish I could read his mind and know what he is feeling so I could say the right thing to help him but I don't think he even knows what he is feeling! I feel so helpless and overwhelmed!! Why does being a Mama have to hurt so much at times?? I want him to know how much we love him and how much he means to us but I don't even know if he understands that much!
Anyhoo, I am off to do some sewing before I feel the overwhelming need for sleep! I have started another Blog about the tears and joys of living with autism I hope and pray it will help others!!